It wasn’t my first rodeo. But this time, it just felt different.

* * *

[January 13, 2023]

Three days earlier, I went in for an endometrial biopsy. I have gotten the same one religiously every three months (since 2017) or every six months (since 2021). It had always come back negative. Dr. Beck had told me three days ago that it seemed like everything was okay, but I got a call… I already knew it was bad news when Dr. Beck called me directly. 

“Hello?”

“Yes? Claudia? Where are you?”

I was shocked to hear Dr. Beck’s voice. “What is it? Just tell me. How bad is it this time?”

“Listen, the biopsy came back showing cancer cells. This time it’s stage two. I won’t push you to get surgery, but I recommend it. The first time you had this, it was stage one, and we were able to manage it with the chemo pills. I’m afraid if we try that again, it might not work because of your stage. If we do a three-month trial run with the pills, we risk the cancer spreading.”

“What the fuck! Are you kidding me?”

“I wish I were kidding; I really do.”

*sobbing*

“I’m so sorry, Claudia. I’m going to give you a few days to think about it. Call me back whenever you have a decision. I’ll respect whatever you decide.”

“Oh no, I’m getting surgery for sure. Can you start the process for the total hysterectomy? I’m crying because I lost my dad six months ago, and now this shit? How am I supposed to tell my family? I fucking hate this.” I said in between sobs.

“I know, Claudia. Your dad’s loss is so recent, but the sooner you deal with this, the sooner it’s over. I’ll start the process for the surgery; the ladies upfront will contact you with the next steps.”

“Thank you. Talk to you soon.”

* * *

And that’s how the year 2023 began for me, with this short phone call.